Poor Greta!
by dreaming-in-pretenses
Summary: Getting married is not all it's cracked up to be. But at least Yuuri – sort of – knew what he was getting himself into… Crack fic. Slight Wolfram x Yuuri, Implied Greta x Beatrice


Title: Poor Greta! (AKA Shinou Finds Another Way to Mess With Yuuri's Life)  
>CharactersCouples: Wolfram, Yuuri, Greta, Implied Wolfram/Yuuri, Implied Greta/Beatrice  
>Rating: G<br>Warnings: PWP? (not in the sexual sense haha)  
>Disclaimer: I don't own "Kyou Kara Maou!"<br>Summary: Getting married is not all it's cracked up to be. But at least Yuuri – _sort of_ – knew what he was getting himself into…  
>Notes: This is a random fic I wrote about…Oh god, I don't even remember. But I know the third season hadn't come out (I don't think it had even been announced yet, actually…), so it was a VERY long time ago. So yes, it isn't even CLOSE to one of my best works. But I do think it's kind of cute, so maybe SOMEONE will enjoy it?<p>

**"Poor Greta!"**  
><strong>By: dreaming-in-pretenses<strong>

As Wolfram was quick to remind him, Yuuri still had much to learn about his country. After serving as Shin Makoku's Maou for close to three years, he no longer had to think twice before slapping someone on the right cheek, and it had become second nature for him to allow the maids to pick up any stray utensils on the floor. He had also been to several different festivals and parties, and had learned new customs at each of them.

Despite all of the customs he had picked up on, however, the amount of customs he didn't know about numbered much higher than the amount of ones he did. Wolfram was thus right in saying he didn't know enough - but Yuuri still thought it was immensely cruel of the boy to get angry with him for not knowing what to do on this particular night.

He had never gotten married before, after all.

The ceremony had been nothing but hell for him; instead of exchanging vows, they took turns shoving each other into Shinou's waterfall. Then they were ushered onto the dance floor, where, rather than dancing, they were forced to spend an hour listening to their guests exchange all the good, bad, and scarring events the two had gone through. Then their guests had the opportunity to partake in all the different varieties of food available while they watched. When everyone else had eaten their share, Wolfram and Yuuri were finally given the chance to eat while the guests piled outside, but he had only eaten a few bites when Wolfram grabbed his arm, insisted they were behind schedule, and rushed him out the door.

Inquiring on what, exactly, they had to do next only resulted in a long tirade from his new husband about how Yuuri needed to pay attention to his studies instead of wasting all of his time flirting. This stung, especially since Yuuri had been feeling rather proud of the progress he had been making in his studies lately, and in irritation he pulled his arm away from Wolfram and came to an abrupt halt.

"What do you mean, I haven't been paying attention to my studies! Maybe it's my studies that are so lax! After all, in the three years I've been here, I've never once heard it's 'good luck' to lock your daughter in the closet on your wedding day!"

Wolfram, who had also come to a stop, flushed and looked to the floor, no doubt remembering the heart-breaking cries their twelve-year-old daughter had uttered as Wolfram proceeded to lock the door and walk away. Of course, Yuuri had let her out the second Wolfram was out of sight, but he was annoyed enough at the moment to let that bit of information stay a secret. He'd rather Wolfram's guilt eat away at him until he apologized.

"I, I was just trying to protect her..." Wolfram whispered, still looking at the ground. Yuuri's eyes widened in spite of himself; that was not the argument he had expected Wolfram to use. Before he could question him further, however, some shouts erupted from a group of Sakura trees located in the middle of the courtyard, where all of their guests had gathered.

"Oh my god, we're late!" Wolfram moaned, grabbing Yuuri's arm and beginning to drag him towards the trees again. "I wanted to see it happen, dammit!"

"Wait, Wolfram!" Yuuri huffed, trying to keep pace with his new husband, "I still don't get it. What custom is this?"

"Maybe you would know if you paid more attention to your studies..."

"_Wolf_!"

"Okay, okay, fine. This is a custom that occurs only during the Maou's wedding, which is why it's such a big deal. Those trees over there, on the night of the Maou's wedding, are blessed by Shinou. The first person to sit under there will immediately, as in tomorrow, be married off to their true soul mate, chosen by Shinou himself. Shinou will orchestrate the entire thing: what the couple will wear, where the wedding will take place, who will be invited to the wedding, all that kind of stuff...And it's said that the marriage that results will be eternally blessed. However, only the first person to sit under the tree will receive this blessing, so there's always a big rush as everyone fights to be the first one under the tree. It's a lot of fun to watch! Usually there are lots of broken bones, and a person even died once. It happened when Mother was young. The man was trampled to death by a particularly ruthless crowd."

Yuuri winced at the sadistic tone in his husband's voice and the satisfaction in his smile, and decided the subject needed to be changed - immediately. "Uh, but if it's such a big deal, then why doesn't everyone rush to the tree the second it becomes the day of the Maou's wedding?"

Wolfram shrugged. "It has always been the custom for everyone to wait until the Maou takes their first bite of food to start racing to the tree. It's not exactly required, at least I don't think it's written in stone, but no one has ever questioned the custom so I don't know for sure. Hey, look, that person definitely got in Anissina's way. His blood is _green._ Looks painful!"

After a moment, Yuuri decided that Wolfram did not sound in any way sympathetic. "Um, yeah. Can I reconsider my decision to marry you?"

"No. Come on, I wanna see who won!"

Wolfram had to push a few people out of the way to get through, but as soon as the crowd realized the Maou and his new husband were trying to get through, they cleared a little path for the two to walk through.

"Your Majesty, congratulations!" Nicola gushed when they had gotten about halfway down the path, running over to give him a hug. Wolfram flashed a quick smile at Nicola and her family, but then continued on, clearly too curious to stop for idle chat. Yuuri wasn't too concerned about the winner, though, so he took his time in giving Hube and El each a hug. He had just opened his mouth to thank the family for coming when a terrifying scream resounded in the air and hushed the excited crowd.

"YUURI, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU! I'M GOING TO…_MURDER_ YOU, YOU IDIOTIC, MORONIC WIMP!"

Yuuri only had enough time to take a single step back before the crowd parted again, to reveal his infuriated husband, literally smoking in his anger. Yuuri, seeing sparks emitting from the cuffs of the boy's suit, couldn't help praying Wolfram wouldn't set himself on fire in his anger. But then his husband marched up to him, and he had no more time for such idle thoughts.

"Yuu. Ri." Wolfram hissed, making each syllable sound like poison. "_What_, exactly, did you tell Greta to do after you let her out - against my wishes, I might add?"

Yuuri gulped and took another step back. "Um, I-I just told her to hide after the ceremony was over, so you wouldn't know I let her out...But I didn't mean to go against your wishes, really, Wolf, I just-EEK!" His voice died in his throat as Wolfram reached out and grabbed the front of his suit.

"Do you know what you've done!" Wolfram hissed, his voice exceptionally low. "DO YOU!"

He held both arms out, causing Yuuri to wince, and-

-buried his face into Yuuri's chest. It took Yuuri's confounded brain a moment to realize his husband was, in fact, sobbing.

"My daughter, my precious daughter. She's too young…Yuuri, you idiot, don't you see what you've done?"

Yuuri looked past the crowd of beaming faces, to the tree, where Greta was standing, smiling gently under an elegant blush. Shinou and Cheri were next to her, both gesturing excitedly to Beatrice. She was holding her father's hand, but looking at Greta, mouthing something that looked suspiciously like "wife".

Suddenly realizing what was happening, and remembering the hell his day had been, Yuuri wrapped his arms around his husband and began to sob too.

_His poor daughter had no idea what she was in for._


End file.
